Ahren Martinez (MAICS ’18) currently serves as the associate director of children, youth, and family programming at All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, California. A Pasadena native, she is a bilingual advocate, an educator, a mentor, and a diversity, equity, and inclusion engagement champion. Ahren has been working and volunteering within the youth ministry sphere for ten years and is the coauthor of Talking about Race with Teenagers: A Youth Leader’s Guide for Exploring Race, Culture, Immigration, and Power.
JEROME BLANCO: You’re the associate director of children, youth, and family programming at All Saints Church in Pasadena. I’d love to start by hearing a little about what that role looks like, but then also hear about your particular approach to ministering to youth and families today.
AHREN MARTINEZ: In one sense, what I do is what my title says. I do work on programming for children, youth, and families—pretty much kindergarten through 12th grade and their families. I work on our Children’s Chapel on Sundays and our youth group nights on Wednesdays, for example. Really, what I do is work on how to create and incorporate community for our families in the church. A huge part of that is asking: What are the ways in which we can get away from doing programming for the sake of programming, and how do we really build intentional community? How do we have intentional activities that are truly for our kids and families, not just doing things to be doing them? How do we incorporate community in simple ways that are intentional and genuine?
A key to building community in this way is through learning from everyone else, right? This happens with storytelling. No matter what your background, no matter where you come from, we all have a story of how we got here—our trials, our testimony. There are so many stories that we can tell. And so I really emphasize the importance of that. Hand in hand with sharing stories, I especially love bringing people together through food—I have a background as a chef. I feel like food is the great equalizer. It really is such a sacred space when you break bread with other people. It’s just such a beautiful way to bring people together in a genuine and simple way. So, storytelling and table fellowship are a couple of things that are important to me. They’re not overcomplicated, but they’re powerful.
JB: I love the idea of something both simple and genuine as a key approach to ministry. I’ll share for our readers that you have a background in international relations and intercultural studies, and, as you’ve mentioned, years of experience as a chef. And I can see how you are bringing those parts of your story—understanding connection among peoples and bringing people together—into your ministry vocation now. I’m curious what it looks like to introduce people, whether younger or older, to these ideas? Sharing stories in table fellowship is natural and simple, in a way, but when programming may be the expectation, how do you form a community in these more intentional practices?
AM: It looks different for children and for families, and it looks different in different spaces. I do Children’s Chapel on Sundays, and it’s so fun because kids just love to talk, right? So, in Chapel, I ask everyone to say their names, and I’ll have a question. For instance, “What color do you feel like today?” Or “What is your favorite holiday and why?” They’ll tell me a whole story around the color or around the holiday. And it’ll take probably 30 minutes for a group of ten kids. I always start first because I like to model for them what I mean—how to answer the question. They can choose whether to follow or not, but I think
it’s important to model. For both kids and adults. And
they can take that and run, and they can go with it where they want.
We also have potlucks that we do bimonthly for our kids and families. And people just talk about their kids, about school. We talk about church and what brought us here. And I’m very transparent—about how I didn’t always love church—and I tell them about my experiences with church, both good and bad. Very often, they reciprocate, and they tell their own stories of church. Some of them share really painful stories. So everyone has their own personal backgrounds within a church, and everyone has different ways they feel. Everyone’s coming from a different frame of reference into the space.
JB: As you see people come together in those ways, as you see young people and their parents sharing stories with one another around a table, how have you seen that form the community?
AM: One thing that has been really painful and also really beautiful as of late has been dealing with the trauma and pain of gun violence in schools. In the past two weeks, we’ve had three different students who’ve had active shooter threats within their school communities. They’ve had really stressful, painful experiences. And of course, parents are just in turmoil, and it’s tragic, and heartbreaking.
We have dinner for our students and some parents on Wednesday nights before youth group—our volunteer parent ministry is really faithful and incredible at providing food for our kids—and I’ve been in there with them talking about the pain of the past weeks and how they’re feeling. We’ll all pray together and love on one another. I really feel like it brings us all closer together; it truly builds community. We check in on each other.
It sucks that you have to talk about these things or that this is something that we’re grappling with as a community and as a nation, but having a community to unload with and share those concerns with is really beautiful. It builds a safe and sacred space. The kids share about it with their parents. Or they also share in youth group later— sometimes they feel more comfortable sharing there. This builds a sense of really caring for your neighbor. The kids check in on each other, asking, “How are you?” They’ll say, “I remember you shared this, how have you been doing since then?” We actually have a Discord server where the kids talk all week, so they’re talking to each other all the time, which is really cool.
JB: Oh, I love that. Things have obviously changed since I was in high school. You’d have to wait for the next Sunday or youth group to connect with your friends, but now technology allows you to maintain that continued community.
AM: Exactly. And the Discord server is how I found out about some of the things happening at the schools. We’re checking on our kids, and we’re seeing how they’re doing, and hearing what’s happening and what’s going on. And we follow up with them when we see them.
That intentionality really brings accountability and community into the space in ways that we wouldn’t have otherwise. So, a lot of people feel safe enough to share what it is they’re going through and experiencing. They’re transparent because I know that they feel safe enough to be so.
JB: That kind of vulnerability is such a beautiful part of community, but it comes with its own difficulties, doesn’t it? I imagine there are many challenges and a lot of risk that come with trying to build a community of people— especially young people—in this way.
AM: Yes, you’re exactly right. There are a lot of challenges. Because some of our kids don’t want to go there all the time—especially some of our middle school youth. They don’t want to sit down and talk about stuff often. They just want to do their own thing. And that’s fine. We have games, art, and other things for them. There are different ways to engage with each other and the things we’re going through.
I think one thing that has been really difficult is that the majority of our youth group is actually LGBTQ+—we have quite a few trans youth in our programs—and I’m a cisgender female, so it can be hard for them to talk to me and other volunteers (who identify similarly to myself) when they’re particularly going through things as a trans person that I don’t understand. Especially when our trans volunteers are not at youth group, and when they are feeling emotional because maybe they’re not out to their parents or they don’t feel safe in their neighborhood because of their gender or sexual orientation. It can be a challenge sharing because they may not feel safe to share. Not that we don’t have privacy in our group. They do turn to each other, which is beautiful and great for community, but also, they are the same age, and they’ll need other support or help outside of this other person who is a peer. So, we’ve developed a mentoring program with our volunteers, especially our trans volunteers, so they are able to check in with our youth weekly to see how they’re doing and what’s going on in their world each week.
JB: That makes sense. In a church community, like you said earlier, you’re surrounded by so many different stories. People have different backgrounds, contexts, identities, histories, experiences. What makes one person feel safe or unsafe can be different from another person. You’re trying to set a table for everyone, but the ground is uneven, with dips and bumps—the surface isn’t level. What does it look like to navigate that? Ensuring there is safety for everyone in the community?
AM: Making space for people wherever they are is really important. And I think you illustrated it really beautifully about setting a table on uneven ground. There’s a real importance in creating circles for people where they are safest. And I think part of that is creating relationships with people to see what it is that they need. My partner in the program and I work together and have talked about creating small groups. Different groups for people—LGBTQ+ or BIPOC, for example—in order to create safer spaces for them to feel free to express themselves or communicate safely. Of course, within our larger group, we still want to create safe spaces and cater to our youth’s needs. I love our kids, our youth, but it’s important to meet youth where they are, to see what they see, and create a space that’s led by them and their needs. Ask what those needs are before just saying, “They need this; they need that.” That’s what it means to form relationships. See what it is they need, and those needs can guide and direct those spaces accordingly.
JB: There are always limits to our knowledge and experience, and it’s important for us to acknowledge that, especially in leadership positions. Do you find you’re able to be open about those limits and communicate that with the youth?
AM: Yeah, I am very honest with my limits. Both my partner and I are. And we definitely do communicate that with them. It’s important to be very aware of our frame of reference and where we come from. I can only tell them so much because, as a Black cisgender female, I can’t speak to all of their experiences, but I love them all and want to provide them with the most amount of information and mentorship that I can, along with intergenerational relationships that may be of even more benefit to them because of their backgrounds and life experiences.
JB: I’m curious about what hope and joy and goodness you’ve seen arise out of these communities and out of you serving these young people.
AM: They are so full of joy. They are. And they do such beautiful things at our church, in our youth group, and within their own schools. They give me a lot of hope. And they want to tell the adults what they’re passionate about, what they want to do in the world, and why it’s important for them to speak up. It’s incredible. Their voices are strong, and they are brilliant, and they make me laugh every day because they’re so hilarious.
But truly, there’s just so much beauty in them showing up every week and encouraging each other. I cannot imagine being in high school right now, with all the social media and societal issues they have to contend with each day. Yet they show up and encourage one another, and they fight for change in their schools and in their communities. They also stand up for each other. They show me different ways to pray, different ways to communicate, different ways to experience the world that I’ve never thought about. They make me think, and they challenge me in ways that I haven’t been challenged. It’s a really beautiful thing that I value so much. That is really what gives me so much hope and joy. They give me hope in the next generation and in the future in our world. Being around them gives me hope because they are absolutely beautiful souls.
JB: What would you say is one prayer you have for this emerging generation?
AM: My prayer for them is that they know they are loved and valued. And I just pray that they own their voices because I feel like they don’t feel very empowered a lot of the time. Understandably so. There’s so much hard and painful stuff going on in our world, and there is such a stifling of their voices; it can feel so overwhelming. But they’re here for a reason, and there’re more of them than there are people trying to shut them up, and they’re so powerful. So, my prayer is for them to really own their voice and to know how beautiful and incredible and amazing they are, and to shine bright and to exude that joy. Joy is your resistance. Please don’t let anyone take that away from you. Continue to show us the way. We need you.
Jerome Blanco, (MDiv ’16) is editor in chief of FULLER magazine and FULLER studio.
Ahren Martinez (MAICS ’18), associate director of children, youth, and family programming at All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, California
Ahren Martinez (MAICS ’18) currently serves as the associate director of children, youth, and family programming at All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, California. A Pasadena native, she is a bilingual advocate, an educator, a mentor, and a diversity, equity, and inclusion engagement champion. Ahren has been working and volunteering within the youth ministry sphere for ten years and is the coauthor of Talking about Race with Teenagers: A Youth Leader’s Guide for Exploring Race, Culture, Immigration, and Power.
JEROME BLANCO: You’re the associate director of children, youth, and family programming at All Saints Church in Pasadena. I’d love to start by hearing a little about what that role looks like, but then also hear about your particular approach to ministering to youth and families today.
AHREN MARTINEZ: In one sense, what I do is what my title says. I do work on programming for children, youth, and families—pretty much kindergarten through 12th grade and their families. I work on our Children’s Chapel on Sundays and our youth group nights on Wednesdays, for example. Really, what I do is work on how to create and incorporate community for our families in the church. A huge part of that is asking: What are the ways in which we can get away from doing programming for the sake of programming, and how do we really build intentional community? How do we have intentional activities that are truly for our kids and families, not just doing things to be doing them? How do we incorporate community in simple ways that are intentional and genuine?
A key to building community in this way is through learning from everyone else, right? This happens with storytelling. No matter what your background, no matter where you come from, we all have a story of how we got here—our trials, our testimony. There are so many stories that we can tell. And so I really emphasize the importance of that. Hand in hand with sharing stories, I especially love bringing people together through food—I have a background as a chef. I feel like food is the great equalizer. It really is such a sacred space when you break bread with other people. It’s just such a beautiful way to bring people together in a genuine and simple way. So, storytelling and table fellowship are a couple of things that are important to me. They’re not overcomplicated, but they’re powerful.
JB: I love the idea of something both simple and genuine as a key approach to ministry. I’ll share for our readers that you have a background in international relations and intercultural studies, and, as you’ve mentioned, years of experience as a chef. And I can see how you are bringing those parts of your story—understanding connection among peoples and bringing people together—into your ministry vocation now. I’m curious what it looks like to introduce people, whether younger or older, to these ideas? Sharing stories in table fellowship is natural and simple, in a way, but when programming may be the expectation, how do you form a community in these more intentional practices?
AM: It looks different for children and for families, and it looks different in different spaces. I do Children’s Chapel on Sundays, and it’s so fun because kids just love to talk, right? So, in Chapel, I ask everyone to say their names, and I’ll have a question. For instance, “What color do you feel like today?” Or “What is your favorite holiday and why?” They’ll tell me a whole story around the color or around the holiday. And it’ll take probably 30 minutes for a group of ten kids. I always start first because I like to model for them what I mean—how to answer the question. They can choose whether to follow or not, but I think
it’s important to model. For both kids and adults. And
they can take that and run, and they can go with it where they want.
We also have potlucks that we do bimonthly for our kids and families. And people just talk about their kids, about school. We talk about church and what brought us here. And I’m very transparent—about how I didn’t always love church—and I tell them about my experiences with church, both good and bad. Very often, they reciprocate, and they tell their own stories of church. Some of them share really painful stories. So everyone has their own personal backgrounds within a church, and everyone has different ways they feel. Everyone’s coming from a different frame of reference into the space.
JB: As you see people come together in those ways, as you see young people and their parents sharing stories with one another around a table, how have you seen that form the community?
AM: One thing that has been really painful and also really beautiful as of late has been dealing with the trauma and pain of gun violence in schools. In the past two weeks, we’ve had three different students who’ve had active shooter threats within their school communities. They’ve had really stressful, painful experiences. And of course, parents are just in turmoil, and it’s tragic, and heartbreaking.
We have dinner for our students and some parents on Wednesday nights before youth group—our volunteer parent ministry is really faithful and incredible at providing food for our kids—and I’ve been in there with them talking about the pain of the past weeks and how they’re feeling. We’ll all pray together and love on one another. I really feel like it brings us all closer together; it truly builds community. We check in on each other.
It sucks that you have to talk about these things or that this is something that we’re grappling with as a community and as a nation, but having a community to unload with and share those concerns with is really beautiful. It builds a safe and sacred space. The kids share about it with their parents. Or they also share in youth group later— sometimes they feel more comfortable sharing there. This builds a sense of really caring for your neighbor. The kids check in on each other, asking, “How are you?” They’ll say, “I remember you shared this, how have you been doing since then?” We actually have a Discord server where the kids talk all week, so they’re talking to each other all the time, which is really cool.
JB: Oh, I love that. Things have obviously changed since I was in high school. You’d have to wait for the next Sunday or youth group to connect with your friends, but now technology allows you to maintain that continued community.
AM: Exactly. And the Discord server is how I found out about some of the things happening at the schools. We’re checking on our kids, and we’re seeing how they’re doing, and hearing what’s happening and what’s going on. And we follow up with them when we see them.
That intentionality really brings accountability and community into the space in ways that we wouldn’t have otherwise. So, a lot of people feel safe enough to share what it is they’re going through and experiencing. They’re transparent because I know that they feel safe enough to be so.
JB: That kind of vulnerability is such a beautiful part of community, but it comes with its own difficulties, doesn’t it? I imagine there are many challenges and a lot of risk that come with trying to build a community of people— especially young people—in this way.
AM: Yes, you’re exactly right. There are a lot of challenges. Because some of our kids don’t want to go there all the time—especially some of our middle school youth. They don’t want to sit down and talk about stuff often. They just want to do their own thing. And that’s fine. We have games, art, and other things for them. There are different ways to engage with each other and the things we’re going through.
I think one thing that has been really difficult is that the majority of our youth group is actually LGBTQ+—we have quite a few trans youth in our programs—and I’m a cisgender female, so it can be hard for them to talk to me and other volunteers (who identify similarly to myself) when they’re particularly going through things as a trans person that I don’t understand. Especially when our trans volunteers are not at youth group, and when they are feeling emotional because maybe they’re not out to their parents or they don’t feel safe in their neighborhood because of their gender or sexual orientation. It can be a challenge sharing because they may not feel safe to share. Not that we don’t have privacy in our group. They do turn to each other, which is beautiful and great for community, but also, they are the same age, and they’ll need other support or help outside of this other person who is a peer. So, we’ve developed a mentoring program with our volunteers, especially our trans volunteers, so they are able to check in with our youth weekly to see how they’re doing and what’s going on in their world each week.
JB: That makes sense. In a church community, like you said earlier, you’re surrounded by so many different stories. People have different backgrounds, contexts, identities, histories, experiences. What makes one person feel safe or unsafe can be different from another person. You’re trying to set a table for everyone, but the ground is uneven, with dips and bumps—the surface isn’t level. What does it look like to navigate that? Ensuring there is safety for everyone in the community?
AM: Making space for people wherever they are is really important. And I think you illustrated it really beautifully about setting a table on uneven ground. There’s a real importance in creating circles for people where they are safest. And I think part of that is creating relationships with people to see what it is that they need. My partner in the program and I work together and have talked about creating small groups. Different groups for people—LGBTQ+ or BIPOC, for example—in order to create safer spaces for them to feel free to express themselves or communicate safely. Of course, within our larger group, we still want to create safe spaces and cater to our youth’s needs. I love our kids, our youth, but it’s important to meet youth where they are, to see what they see, and create a space that’s led by them and their needs. Ask what those needs are before just saying, “They need this; they need that.” That’s what it means to form relationships. See what it is they need, and those needs can guide and direct those spaces accordingly.
JB: There are always limits to our knowledge and experience, and it’s important for us to acknowledge that, especially in leadership positions. Do you find you’re able to be open about those limits and communicate that with the youth?
AM: Yeah, I am very honest with my limits. Both my partner and I are. And we definitely do communicate that with them. It’s important to be very aware of our frame of reference and where we come from. I can only tell them so much because, as a Black cisgender female, I can’t speak to all of their experiences, but I love them all and want to provide them with the most amount of information and mentorship that I can, along with intergenerational relationships that may be of even more benefit to them because of their backgrounds and life experiences.
JB: I’m curious about what hope and joy and goodness you’ve seen arise out of these communities and out of you serving these young people.
AM: They are so full of joy. They are. And they do such beautiful things at our church, in our youth group, and within their own schools. They give me a lot of hope. And they want to tell the adults what they’re passionate about, what they want to do in the world, and why it’s important for them to speak up. It’s incredible. Their voices are strong, and they are brilliant, and they make me laugh every day because they’re so hilarious.
But truly, there’s just so much beauty in them showing up every week and encouraging each other. I cannot imagine being in high school right now, with all the social media and societal issues they have to contend with each day. Yet they show up and encourage one another, and they fight for change in their schools and in their communities. They also stand up for each other. They show me different ways to pray, different ways to communicate, different ways to experience the world that I’ve never thought about. They make me think, and they challenge me in ways that I haven’t been challenged. It’s a really beautiful thing that I value so much. That is really what gives me so much hope and joy. They give me hope in the next generation and in the future in our world. Being around them gives me hope because they are absolutely beautiful souls.
JB: What would you say is one prayer you have for this emerging generation?
AM: My prayer for them is that they know they are loved and valued. And I just pray that they own their voices because I feel like they don’t feel very empowered a lot of the time. Understandably so. There’s so much hard and painful stuff going on in our world, and there is such a stifling of their voices; it can feel so overwhelming. But they’re here for a reason, and there’re more of them than there are people trying to shut them up, and they’re so powerful. So, my prayer is for them to really own their voice and to know how beautiful and incredible and amazing they are, and to shine bright and to exude that joy. Joy is your resistance. Please don’t let anyone take that away from you. Continue to show us the way. We need you.
Jerome Blanco, (MDiv ’16) is editor in chief of FULLER magazine and FULLER studio.
Ahren Martinez (MAICS ’18), associate director of children, youth, and family programming at All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, California
At Fuller Arizona, faculty, staff, and students witness the presence and work of God’s Spirit as they experience a season of renewal.
